Are you really that busy or are you creating a distraction…from yourself?

Did you know that unnecessary busyness can possibly be a trauma response…a type of deflector? What do I mean by unnecessary busyness you might ask. As I was nicely told, it is making up stuff to do. So of course you are probably asking “what do you mean by that, what chu talkin bout willis? Well I am glad you asked because I sure enough had the same question.

From my personal experience--- Two examples- First, I would keep myself busy to keep from being around certain people as I was scared to get close to because of fear of abandonment (it cost me---time is a gift)or to avoid confrontation. Secondly, sitting still was foreign to me, almost like I was allergic to it, the apartment could be clean, laundry done etc. and I would make up something to do like sort through papers, go for a drive, play around on my phone…anything that would keep me from being alone with my thoughts, emotions and feelings. To me, it is another form of self-medicating.

For a lot of people, sitting with thoughts and emotions can actually be very painful but as I have learned through prayer, therapy and some amazing people that I follow on instagram, it is very necessary to sit still and connect to those thoughts, feelings and emotions. Whether your own individually or relationally.

Even Jesus knew when it was time to get away to rest and pray (Luke 5:16). Today we call it mediation, mindfulness and stillness.

Now I will be honest, some thoughts I have had to sit with…whew chile, the pain, the tears, the grief (that will be another blog for another day---the grief that comes with healing)…I felt it deep, but I am glad I did. Facing it is how you fix it. Even if you try to run from it…if the monkey is still on your back or what you are fighting is between your ears…what exactly are you running from…trust me, it will catch you and show its ugly head.

Might I add…busyness also keeps you from being able to be present and enjoy moments.

Mindfulness has also helped me move from being reactive to being responsive because I can take the time to sit with something and process it before I respond and/or address it and to also accept that whatever emotion I feel at the time…its okay for me to feel it but not let it hold me so prayer, journaling, coupled later with exercising, dancing, singing, praise & worship are some of the other ways I also therapeutically release...mindfully speaking of course.

This may or may not apply to you but if you think it does, please reach out to a licensed professional and get the skills needed…it makes a great a difference.

Selfcare is the best care and YOU MATTER!